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We Conclude Our Top 25!

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor

We finally conclude our first ever Top 25 rankings, starting with a president and ending with the nation’s best team!

Obama and Biden

Obama and Biden

#5) Barrack Obama & Joe Biden

The Hope is back! After an upset victory in 2008, O is looking to repeat in 2012. Biden – the “new Chain-y” – is a little older and less stable, but with Obama as the quarterback, this team can go a long way.

#4) University of Oklahoma

Many people believe Oklahoma is in the mix for a national championship, but not if Coach Bob Stoops has anything to say about it!

#3) LSU

Head Coach Les Miles is laughing because you all think kicking safety Tyrann “Honey Badger” Mathieu off the team is a major setback. He has, like, 20 NFL safeties on the roster, people!

#2) USC

Lane Kiffin once killed a recruit. The recruit wouldn’t fully commit, so Kiffin went to the player’s house a beat him to death with a baseball bat. In blood, Kiffin wrote “Trojan Pride” on the living room wall.

WVU quarterback Geno Smith

WVU quarterback Geno Smith

No, that didn’t really happen. But it’s believable, isn’t it?

#1) West Virginia University

Ask Clemson.

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