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Curiosity Kills Mars Cat

By Donald McFarland
Staff Writer

PASADENA, CALIF. - Life exists on Mars, and humans have already started killing it, according to NASA.

When the space rover Curiosity landed on Mars this weekend, it crushed one of the planet’s inhabitants, a cat-like creature without fur.

Mars Cat

Mars Cat

“It was quite unfortunate,” said Dr. Carl Allenwater, a NASA scientist. “The very first contact with life on Mars is manslaughter.”

Allenwater said NASA is working to establish communication with the cat aliens. Soon after the accident, Curiosity’s cameras recorded other cat creatures hissing and clawing at the vehicle. They then scurried and scattered.

“We were shocked,” Allenwater said. “Although one of Curiosity’s primary objectives was looking for signs of life, it was stunning to immediately make contact - literally - with cats. We were thinking more along the lines of water or little bacteria things. I’m speechless.”

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