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Investigators Whittling Down Suspects in Coin Throwing Incident

Detectives Say Culprit Would Have to Be ‘Inhumanly Powerful’

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor

MORGANTOWN, W.VA. - Police are looking for the person - or thing - who threw a coin at University of Pittsburgh assistant basketball coach Tom Herrion during the team’s loss to West Virginia University.

According to reports, the area beneath Herrion’s eye was “visibly bruised.” Replays show the coin apparently ricocheting upward before hitting Herrion’s face.

“The amount of power it would take to cause a bruise with a coin, especially after a ricochet, is incredible,” said one investigator who declined to be identified. “This morning, I was standing five feet from one of my officers and throwing quarters at his face. They didn’t really leave a mark. I think whoever threw the coin from a further distance couldn’t have been human.”

Investigators are gathering a list of those who could have thrown a coin at such a velocity. According to an early draft of the list obtained by the Cannon Blog, the suspects include the Incredible Hulk, the Terminator and Mark McGwire.

Assistant coach Tom Herrion right after the Coin Incident of 2010.

Reporters are presuming the coin came from WVU’s rowdy crowd, although video doesn’t confirm exactly from where the coin came. After Herrion was struck, his head jerked backward. He then kept rubbing and pointing at the spot on his face so as many people as possible would notice.

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Herrion said today. “I just kept seeing the coin as it rocketed at my face. I’m lucky to be alive. I’m glad this incident is capturing so many headlines, because it’s extremely important. And I hope whoever did it is caught soon, because who knows what kind of coin he’ll throw next. Can you imagine what would happen if he threw a silver dollar?”

“The Coin Incident of 2010″ followed an eventful evening at the Colliseum in Morgantown. Fans already had thrown objects on the floor, and players came close to a fight. During the week leading up to the game, WVU officials were asking students to stop using profanity during games.

As investigators track down the mythical creature with an ability to throw coins at hundreds of miles an hour, they also are examining the possibility of a second coin-thrower.

“The trajectory doesn’t make sense,” the source said. “If his head flipped backward, how could it have come from a fan seated near the Pitt bench? While there might have been a thrower in that area, we think a second thrower was seated elsewhere in the arena. After all, lots of people there had coins.”

1 Comment on “Investigators Whittling Down Suspects in Coin Throwing Incident”

  1. #1 Corey
    on Aug 20th, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Seriously? Someone sent spam to this blog?! I wonder if they read the article.

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