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Swine Flu Could Kill 90,000

So Could Sharks

By Donald McFarland
Staff Writer

WASHINGTON DC - The H1N1 flu virus could cause up to 90,000 U.S. deaths if it resurges this fall as expected, according to a presidential advisory panel report.

Other things that could kill 90,000 people, the reports says, include earthquakes, badgers, bears, spiders, avalanches, water, carbon dioxide, fire, people and sharks. If the right conditions exist, these things could kill 90,000.

The report urges speedier production of the H1N1 vaccine, also known as the flu shot

“Swine flu could be devastating, as could hurricanes,” said Thomas Frieden, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “If we don’t distribute this vaccine swiftly and efficiently, the swine flu could kill many, even wipe out the human population. That could happen.”

If Americans refuse the vaccine, take no precautions and do not treat themselves when they do get sick, the H1NI could kill 90,000 people, the report says. It could hasten the downfall of the economy and send the world tailspinning toward the Dark Ages.

Similarly, under the right conditions, lions could kill 90,000 people - if the entire population of lions were to be released on the streets of New York City and all guns stopped working. That could happen, the report says.

“We’re just trying to make people freak out about this as much as possible so they’ll pay attention to us,” Frieden said. “We want people to take swine flu seriously and take care of themselves, so we want everyone to know swine flu could destroy everything they love.”

Similarly, under the right conditions, sharks could kill 90,000 people - if all sharks were to go without food for weeks and a sizable percentage of the human population were to jump in the ocean at the same time. That could happen, the report says. It’s within the realm of possibility.

“Someday, swine flu is going to come to your home and threaten your family - possibly even make you watch as it tortures your family,” Frieden said. “What are you going to do about it? Are you going to get a flu shot or let swine flu kill your dog? It’s up to all Americans to stop this carnage.”

1 Comment on “Swine Flu Could Kill 90,000”

  1. #1 Corey
    on Oct 4th, 2009 at 11:33 am

    What if a swine flu pandemic caused people to flee land into the water, where sharks picked them off? We’re talking about hundreds of thousands of shark/swine flu related deaths!

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