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Neville Brothers Battle Swine Flu

Neville Hopes Combined Vocals Will Match New Strain

By Donald McFarland
Staff Writer

BATON ROUGE, LA - Singer Aaron Neville is hoping his brothers can help him fight the swine flu.

As the Cannon Newsletter reported earlier this month, researchers at Louisiana State University had discovered Aaron Neville’s falsetto cures the common flu. Neville then planned a worldwide tour to fight the virus.

Soon after, however, swine flu began spreading. Naturally, Aaron Neville presumed his falsetto also would work on the swine strain.

“When I sing to swine flu victims, I can see some effect,” he said. “But there’s not a full recovery, not like how my falsetto completely destroys the common flu virus.”

LSU researchers have theorized the combined powers of the Neville Brothers, which includes Art, Charles and Cyril, could be enough to battle the swine flu.

“The bass, tenor and alto variations of the Neville falsetto could match the swine strain variations, and we think they could affect the bird flu, as well,” said Dr. Anthony Sizemore.

Aaron Neville originally thought cacao butter, which he rubs on his biceps, was preventing him from getting the flu. He again presented this theory after the swine flu outbreak, but researches have assured him the potential cure would have nothing to do with cacao butter.

“I guess it’s time to combine falsetto powers and see how we can fight this thing,” Art Neville said. “The Nevilles have never taken shit from pigs, and we’re not about to start now.”

The research remains ongoing at LSU.

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