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Posts from ‘August, 2012’

Political Efforts, Football Join Forces

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor
The Friends of Coal Bowl, which for seven years now has featured West Virginia University and Marshall University meeting on the gridiron, comes to an end Saturday as the schools have not agreed on continuing the series.
Other schools across the country, though, are embracing the idea of having political – or, [...]

Republicans Fight ‘Dark Voting’

By Donald McFarland
Staff Writer
HARRISBURG, PA. – As the November election approaches, some states are taking tougher stances against voter fraud.
Pennsylvania recently joined several states with strict voter ID laws requiring citizens to show identification before voting. Often, states require photo IDs, such as driver’s licenses, passports and IDs created specifically for elections.
Critics [...]

Romney Perfects Stand-up Routine

By Chance Breckenridge
Political Reporter
TAMPA, Fla. – Mitt Romney, the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, said today he was “only joking” when he said the U.S. would achieve energy independence by 2020.
“I mean, come on, that’s ridiculous,” he said.
Romney last week released his energy plan, which said the country could be producing 28 billion barrels [...]

We Conclude Our Top 25!

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor
We finally conclude our first ever Top 25 rankings, starting with a president and ending with the nation’s best team!
#5) Barrack Obama & Joe Biden
The Hope is back! After an upset victory in 2008, O is looking to repeat in 2012. Biden – the “new Chain-y” – is a little older and [...]

Eastwood, Bolt, Romney Highlight 10 to 6

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor
The Top 25 countdown gets political as we get closer to the final five!
#10) University of Michigan
It’s halftime. Both teams are in their locker room discussing what they can do to win this game in the second half.It’s halftime in America, too. People are out of work and they’re hurting. And [...]

GOP Receives Support from Rapists

By Chance Breckenridge
Political Reporter
WASHINGTON D.C. – Rapists across the country are uniting behind the Republican Party after Rep. Todd Akin, R-Missouri, suggested on Sunday a woman’s reproductive organs could sense rape and prevent pregnancy naturally.

“We finally have a voice in the political arena,” said Mark Jallenhover, president of the National Rapists Association (NRA). “It’s [...]

Manchester United, Volleyball Duo Crack Top 25

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor
A couple of unlikely teams find themselves in the Top 25 preseason rankings, as we continue the week’s countdown.
#15) Manchester United
Coming off a Premier League championship, Manchester United should have a strong season. The team has no spending limit and has created a football juggernaut. Man U starts the season as 5/1 [...]

Countdown Continues with Pair of Georgia Teams

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor
We continue our Preseason Top 25 countdown today with a pair of Georgia teams. It’ll be interesting to see who has bragging rights at the end of the season!

#20) University of Georgia

The University of Georgia is easily the second-best team in Georgia. It should compete for an SEC title, and fans are [...]

Rep. Akin Confuses Vaginas with Parking Meters

By Chance Breckenridge
Political Reporter
ST. LOUIS - Rep. Todd Akin, R-Missouri, apologized today after comments he made Sunday regarding rape, saying he had confused the female anatomy with parking meters.

“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down,” he said during the Sunday broadcast, adding even [...]

Zips, Jets Make Top 25

By Charles Parachute
Sports Editor
The Cannon Newsletter sports department is pleased to reveal is first annual preseason college football rankings! Each day this week, we’ll look at five teams, starting today with numbers 25 to 21.
#25) University of Akron
The Zips last won on Sept. 24, 2011, managing to pull out two 1-11 seasons in a row. [...]